Empathy

The job market right now is exhausting. With constant tech layoffs and an overwhelming amount of competition, interviewing itself has become a full-time emotional job. I was laid off from Amazon in October and have been interviewing ever since. I’ve handled tough technical rounds, tricky system design discussions, and unexpected questions. That’s all fair game. What’s been harder to deal with is something else entirely. Two of my worst interview experiences weren’t because the questions were hard. They were because of the behavior of the interviewers. At one of the largest pet care companies, I interviewed with a Director of Engineering who opened the conversation by saying, “We’re a startup, I’ll text you at 9 pm and you should be okay responding.” This is a well-established company, not a scrappy five-person operation. Setting that tone in the first few minutes felt less like transparency and more like a warning. He then asked about my visa status. Given the current climate and the fact that I’m Indian, it felt unnecessary and uncomfortable. When I mentioned I have a green card, his energy noticeably shifted, almost like disappointment. Toward the end of the interview, he asked whether I would be okay being down-leveled in the offer. I said I wouldn’t be comfortable with that. The entire interaction felt less like a mutual evaluation and more like subtle pressure tactics. The second experience was with a telehealth startup. Again, the issue wasn’t technical difficulty. It was the director’s demeanor. He was yawning throughout the interview and repeatedly leaning back with his hands on his head, looking visibly disinterested. It’s hard to perform at your best when the person evaluating you appears disengaged from the conversation. I understand the market is tough. I understand companies have leverage right now. But basic professionalism and empathy should not disappear just because the hiring landscape favors employers. Candidates are human beings navigating layoffs, uncertainty, and intense competition. Respecting their time and showing basic courtesy costs nothing. The power dynamics in tech shift constantly. Markets change. Companies scale up and down. Roles reverse. A little empathy and professionalism go a long way, especially in times like these. If we expect candidates to show up prepared, thoughtful, and respectful, the least interviewers can do is meet that same standard.