Watched

This probably doesn't need to be said but if you're in a stable, low drama job, especially outside big tech, stay put. The grass on the other side might be covering a sinkhole. My friend. Until 5 months ago he was a backend dev at a regional bank. Benefits were great. He worked maybe 15 to 25 hours a week. Chill culture. Nice team. Recession proof industry. Office once a week. He had time for the gym, his kid, side projects when he felt like it. Then he got seduced by a unicorn startup. Shiny name. "Staff Engineer" title. Bigger comp on paper. "Exciting" tech stack. He jumped. Thought he was leveling up. Thought he'd finally arrived. Day one it was a different planet. Fully on site. Commute back. Hours were brutal. Unspoken rule: always online, always responsive, always shipping more. He went from quiet mornings and flexible hours to 8am standups, back to back meetings, coworkers in a performative busyness contest, and managers who micromanaged everything while acting chill. He was putting in 55 to 65 hours a week just to keep his head above water. It was draining him. But he told himself it was worth it for the resume, for the brand. Then 4 months in: layoff email. No warning. No transfer. No fallback. Just a cold goodbye and a severance check. Now he's home. Unemployed. Terrible market. Completely burned out. Wishes he'd never left that bank job where people actually treated each other like humans. Worst part: I watched him change. Every week the light in him dimmed a little. He looked tired all the time. Less present. Short on calls. Always distracted. Kept saying he felt behind, always proving himself to people who didn't know his name. He used to be the most relaxed guy I knew. Always up for a beer or a game. During those months he aged 5 years. When he called after the layoff it wasn't just that he lost the job. He'd lost a piece of himself. His old role was filled. Can't snap your fingers and go back. That bridge is gone. Now he's in limbo. Applying everywhere. Everything's frozen or oversaturated or fake listings. I've seen this happen to multiple people. If you're in a solid job with decent pay, decent hours, and a company that isn't on fire, don't chase the big tech dream. Especially not now. He finally took a burnout assessment someone sent him <a href="https://chatgpt.com/g/g-699c8ee4f1b4819189015a69b0b3c5be-work-stress-research-companion?