Job search makes me a bad person and I do not know what to do about it
Interview Experience
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Hey. I mean I cannot find a job, nothing new on this subreddit. I had 5 interviews (3 Rust developer, DevOps and one for Node.js) in the last month, but no offers. I had a year of development experience before I went to college (and I was rejected from that job after I got a diploma), I was a tutor in college. I have a solid GPA from UC San Diego. But it is not enough. Emotionally it is draining. Like I am ready to work basically for free, and my skills are not wanted. Shows me my place in this world. I understand that 1 year of unemployment is basically 2% of my whole conscious life and it is scary. This causes anger and leads to thoughts that I am not proud of. I noticed that I am happy when I hear about layoffs from tech companies. I start thinking that people who were hired 5-10 years ago wouldn't be able to get those jobs if they applied now, and thus I arrive at a conclusion that it is reasonable they are not worthy of a tech income. This job search not only kills my future, but also makes me a disgusting individual. How to fix this? How to stay a human, while facing such brutal competition?